Imagined G7 Email Correspondence

So I'm good friends with Edward Snowden. He just found an email exchange responding to Brexit between some of the G7 heads of state.

Cameron: So things didn't go too well here this week. You guys might have to deal with Boris Johnson at the next G7 meeting.

Obama: "Things didn't go too well here." You can say that again, David.

Merkel: This is an absolute disaster for Europe. Can you do something about this?

"Do these look like the hands of a non-chancellor?"

Obama: Who, me?

Merkel: Can't you embrace your imperial position and just punish these guys? Such a stupid decision.

Obama: I would like to, Angie, but there's this thing called international law, and it's pretty ... fragile.

Merkel: You should tell that to the Greeks.

Hollande: Mon dieu. Not funny, Angela.

Abe: It's fragile, huh? Is it as fragile as the Democratic hold on the White House?

Obama: More fragile than that, Shin-shin. Way more fragile than that. ;)

Renzi: I'm worried about our Democratic Party here, guys... Did you see what happened to Rome?

Obama: Oh, I saw. But, the thing is, I've been trying to grant citizenship to more people, but I don't think now's the right time. Nah mean?

Cameron: I saw what you did there, Barry. You're so cool.

Renzi: What? I'm confused.

Obama: Shut up, Cameron. I'm still angry at you.

Abe: You know, Japan is a strategic nation with long term economic stability. Time for a new Special Relationship?

Hollande: He's already got a new Special Relationship. With China! What's up with that, B-dog?

Obama: Don't call me that François. You must not know what the Special Relationship is...

Merkel: Hey this might not be the best time, but how about another military base in Europe? Brexit may make us look weak with the Russians...

Obama: You're all just a bunch of free riders.